At Least I Can Converse with Him

At St John Church in Bangkok, Thailand

I don’t know if it’s only me, but sometimes I have a hard time when the priest is away. The church is locked, so there are no visits to the Blessed Sacrament. And the priest is away, so there is no Mass. It’s like there is something missing. It’s like a great source of energy is gone.

Of course, my feelings are partly right. Physical proximity to the body of Christ is beneficial, especially for people who are poor at concentrating at prayer (like me). The Presence is a lovely benefit to heal or at least compensate for physical and moral limitations of my own.

But taking such thinking too far would be bad, too. This is when I find strength in words like these which Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity wrote in a journal:

ElisabethSince He is in me, since He lives in me, ah! at least [even if I cannot receive or visit Him in the Blessed Sacrament] I can converse with Him in the depths of my heart.

Yes, it is good to desire the physical Presence. But at the end of the day, it is the infinite Three Persons who come to abide in us simply by virtue of our being in a state of grace. It is Them whom we can find within and “converse” with. That is never denied to us, except by our own fault of choosing a sin “which leads to [spiritual] death” (1 Jn 5:16).

So when I want to go to Mass or to the Tabernacle, but cannot for whatever reason, I have advice like that of the young Elizabeth Catez: “I can converse with Him in the depths of my heart.”


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